HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
