we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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