i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
