i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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