U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
it's great music for shaving your balls
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
