which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
