I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
