Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
