She said her name was "party"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
