Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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