I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
