I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
