Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You were trust falling into bushes
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
