Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
