woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
