discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
