Only a mothe r could love this liver
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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