it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
