..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
