sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
