He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Are we still banned from the library?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
