if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
