You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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