Those balls look pretty dangerous.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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