She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
