Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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