it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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