i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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