what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
