Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I want a musical about memes.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
