We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
