New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
