an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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