weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
