wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
