I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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