State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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