And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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