so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
PANTIES FOUND
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
