Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
