omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
How external is "for external use only"?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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