sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
