Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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