On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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