I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
