And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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