I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
