She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
