and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
