your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
